April 2009

April showers bring May flowers? I always thought the pilgrims brought the Mayflower, but what do I know?

What else can you say about April? April Fool's Day? That seems like so long ago now, but on the other hand I can easily be a fool all year around. Though some of the most foolish things I ever did were in April. Anyhow, onward and upwards, or downwards depending on your point of view.  



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April 30, 2009

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses."

"Warehouses!?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"


Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." "Why the postman?" asked Joanne.

"Because, he always delivers late and half the time it's in the wrong box."

 

April 29, 2009

Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover. The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that." The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."


A man goes to a doctor and says " What shall I do? I've just been raped by an elephant!" The doctor tells him to bend over so he can have a look at his ass. "That's funny!" He says " your asshole is 10 inches wide! I thought elephants only had thin long dicks?" The man says " Yeah but he fingered me first!"

April 28, 2009

According to archaeologists, for millions of years Neanderthal man was not fully erect. That's pretty easy to understand considering how ugly Neanderthal woman were.


Husband: Ohhh, you are wonderfully tight tonight darling!
Wife: Get that big hairy thing out of my navel!

April 27, 2009

A patient awakened after a serious operation only to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor. Well, the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed."


A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." Stunned, the young man says, "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

"I don't like her," she says.

April 26, 2009

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.

He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'

She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'


Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. "I get such a yen for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effective countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck hard." "That's fine for you," huffed her friend, "but I don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"

April 25, 2009

Police officers George and Mary, had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout and after I showered, I forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them." George replied, "We don't have to go back, just give the K-9 unit, Fido, one sniff, and he will go fetch them for you."

It was a hot day and Mary didn't fell like heading back to the station, so she lifted her skirt for the dog. Fido's nose shoots between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds of sniffing, Fido's ears pick up, he sniffs the wind, and he is off in a flash towards the station house. Five minutes go by and no sign of Fido. Ten minutes pass, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes pass, and they are starting to worry.

Twenty minutes pass, and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police cars, Fido rounds the corner with the Desk Sergeant's balls in his mouth.

April 24, 2009

An Oldie but still funny

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers.

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red......................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange..............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all lifesavers. After tasting them, none of the children could identify the taste.

'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,
'Oh my God!! They're ass-holes!...

April 23, 2009

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife slid up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." The she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"

April 22, 2009

THE BLONDE AND THE BARKING DOG

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.

It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed And her husband says "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"

April 21, 2009

So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Confused, the bartender asks,
"Hey bud, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

"I donít know," the pirate says, "but itís driving me nuts!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball.

So he walked down and said to the man, "Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect?"

The man said "No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship so I swam to shore. One day a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, 'I can't grant that wish because mermaids cant have sex.'"
"So I said, 'How about a little head?'"

April 20, 2009

A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?'

'Well... you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Lexus.'

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up so he asks, 'What are the three tests?
'You must pay first... Those are the rules,' says the bartender.
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

'Okay,' the bartender says, 'Here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.
Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who has never had sex....
You have to take care of that problem!'

The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it!
You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and then do all those other things...'
'Your call,' says the bartender...
'But, your money stays where it is.'

As time goes on, and the man has a few more drinks, he finally says, 'Where's the damn tequila?'
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face, and he did it in fifty-eight seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.
Soon the people inside the bar hear growling , biting, and screaming sounds, then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar,
with his shirt ripped open and there are scratches and he's bleeding all over his body.

He says, 'Now where's that old woman with the bad tooth?'

April 19, 2009

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"

The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"

April 18, 2009

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call you 'the bridge builder' if you do that here. No, no, they don't!"

"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people won't call you 'the house builder' if you do that. No, no they don't!"

"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people won't call you 'the tavern builder' either. They sure won't!"

"But if you f*ck one goat......."

April 17, 2009

Hillbilly Mirror 
 
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.
In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.  Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image 
staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy.'

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.  One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.  As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with
.'

April 16, 2009

Submitted by Nizzy (a month ago, I forgot.......sorry)

Seven Kinds of Sex

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex..
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long.
When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex.
She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

 

April 15, 2009

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath.
One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there.
They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little 'oral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.'
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room.
'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'

April 14, 2009

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."

Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's , "Shhh. They're getting closer...."

 

April 13, 2009

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY:
Five million people, Fifteen last names.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

In Memorium
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".

money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

April 12, 2009

Three explorers are captured by a tribe in the Amazon jungle. The chief is going to punish the intruders. He calls the first explorer to the front of the tribe and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well the explorer doesn't want to die, so he opts for booka. The tribe starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. the chief then rips the explorers pants off and f*cks him in the ass.

The chief calls the second explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well not wanting to die either, he opts for booka. The tribe again starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. The chief rips the second guys pants off and f*cks him in the ass.

The chief calls the third explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well the third guy has a little more self respect and thinks death would be better than being violated in front of hundreds of tribesman, so he opts for death. The chief turns to the tribe and screams "DEATH BY BOOKA!"

 

April 11, 2009

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German, The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

April 10, 2009

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.
One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!"
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied.
He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"


So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!
As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.


"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"
Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run? "


"Nope.........just when it's raining.

 

April 9, 2009

OK, one more day of penis jokes and we'll change subjects

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to......to....cut it off are you?!" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said,   "Nope.  You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."


An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "Check this out!" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we should do with it?" With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, now would be a good time to wash it." 

 

April 8, 2009

Here's a kind of a companion piece to yesterday's joke

A man with a stuttering problem tries everything he can to stop stuttering, but he can't. Finally, he goes to a world  renowned doctor for help. The doctor examines him and says "I've found your problem. Your penis is twelve inches long. It weighs so much that it's pulling on your lungs, causing you to stutter." So he asks, "What's he cure, doc?" The doctor replies, "Well, we have to cut off six inches." 

The man is eager to cure his stuttering so he agrees to the operation. The operation is a success, and he stops stuttering. Two months later, the man calls the doctor and tells him that since he's had the 6 inches cut off, all of his girlfriends have dumped him, and his love life has gone down the tubes. He insists that the doctor do another operation to add the six inches back on. 

There is silence on the other end of the telephone, so the man repeats, "Hey doc, didn't you hear me? I want my six inches back!" Finally, the doctor responds, "F-f-f-f-f-f-u-c-k y-y-y-y-ou! 

April 7, 2009

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.

She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.

He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."

The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes back to the frog and asks: "Frog, will you marry me?"

Frog: How many times do I have to tell you NO, NO, NO!!!

April 6, 2009

PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

April 5, 2009

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."

The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

April 4, 2009

Men's Mastercard Commercial

Cover Charge $15.00
Round of Drinks $23.00
Table Dance- $30.00
Another round of drinks $23.00
Couch dance and tips $50.00
A round of shots $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room $300.00 
Being able to send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: ***PRICELESS****


A young girl was having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother on her first visit home since starting university. "Mum, I have to tell you," the girl confessed. "I lost my virginity last weekend." "I'm not surprised," said her mother. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just hope it was a romantic and pleasurable experience." "Well, yes and no," the pretty student remarked. "The first eight guys felt great, but after them my pussy got really sore."

April 3, 2009

The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team's performance soars. They win the county and state championship until one day they are favoured to win nationals easily. Penelope, a 16-year-old hurdler visits her coach and says, "Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest."

"What?" the coach says in a panic, "How far down does it go?" She replies, "Down to my testicles. That's something else I want to talk to you about."

April 2, 2009

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There is three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course", says the man proudly. The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!".

April 1, 2009

For April Fool's Day

The Flasher